Wonderous Beings
The joy of not knowing anybody
Is disliking someone for your perception of their arrogance any different than racism?
Neuroscience has found that we have, on average, between 40,000 and 50,000 thoughts a day (although I’ve also found studies claiming it’s closer to 4,000–6,000 — either way, it’s a lot of thinking). Most of these thoughts don’t live under our conscious control, much like how the color of one’s skin is not under one’s control.
What is a thought? Is it a reflection of a person’s goodness, or is it a reflection of how their brain has been conditioned through family beliefs and societal ideology? We wouldn’t blame someone for having a certain skin color if their parents had that skin color, or if the people in the region they were born in had that skin color. Yet we are so ready to demonize, label, judge, attack, dismiss, and mistreat those whose thoughts reflect their upbringing.
When we meet the perception of arrogance with our own arrogance toward the humanity inside others, how do we end the cycle? When we identify others as their beliefs, we turn our backs on the living spirit inside them.
When being with others, humanity needs to let go of its need to be right about who it thinks the other is. Being right creates a box you can fit another into because you believe you know who they are. But do we? Every second of every day, humans are changing — cells die, and new ones are born. We are the antithesis of static beings, even if we’ve cultivated an inclination toward repetitive thought cycles.
Until you know every cell, every brain synapse, every past event, you don’t truly know anybody. You just hold a projection — an idea of who that person is.
Let’s put our knowing thoughts aside and stand in loving, compassionate wonder toward each other. When you meet another’s hate with compassion, love, and wonder, it’s like throwing a jagged rock into a river — eventually, the jagged edges erode away and soften. We have an opportunity to soften each other’s edges.
May we look at one another with bewildering wonder, connective compassion, and the longing to love.